If they were human...who would they be?
We're always told a dog is a dog and we shouldn't anthromorphisize them with human characteristics. However, all pet lovers sometimes see human traits in their best friends, so, just for fun, what if we they WERE human...
Theodore would be a theoretical physicist (a geek)
Theodore is studying theoretical physics and the creation of the universe. He is always trying to figure out how he fits into the world and the meaning of life. He has a collection of pencil protectors and drinks gallons water with his white castle cheeseburgers. He drives an old Lincoln and lives in a 3 story walk up. He loves the girls, but is too shy to ask them out. He is always getting beat up by the popular guys but he's a good sport about it. He plays cello and has a pet guppy.
Simone would be an exotic dancer
Simone would live in an old trailer, working as an exotic dancer because she can make $1,000 in tips a week to spend on trashy clothes. She drinks perrier for breakfast, and drives a red Camaro which is always on empty. She was the prom queen, but lost her crown for running with the wild crowd and mud wrestling. Her hobbies include skydiving and mountain climbing. Her mom just sighs, and bails her out of all the trouble she gets into.
Mulan would be a freckle-faced tomboy
that loves to play baseball with the boys, wears braces just so she can shoot the rubber bands, eats hot dogs and fries, throws a mean left curve, wears T-shirts and jeans always covered in mud, drives a dented red corvette (really fast), and loves to party. She has a million best friends and lives in a cluttered apartment with her tennis ball collection. As a mom she played with her kids, taught them how to play softball, and gave them nothing but the best.
Jasmine would be a concert Pianist ...
that dreams of owning a shoe store, drinks decaffeinated coffee and nibbles on hors deurves, drives a BMW, wears basic black. She holds intimate dinner parties with a few close friends. She is very polite and her apartment is always neat and tidy and quite formal. Jazzy is quite complex and none of her 11 kids have yet to figure her out, though they love her dearly and have inherited her love of shoes.
Mocha would be everyone's little sister
Everyone looks out for Mocha because she's everyone's little sister. She doesn't make waves and gets along with everyone - watching what they do and following along. She also likes to cuddle and help with the chores (bringing in firewood). Mocha would live with her brother Superman and Mom Jasmine, drink Kool-aid and though she likes to go places in the car, she doesn't drive. She likes to play with her brother in the tree house, dig in the sandbox, and watch Nickelodeon TV shows.
Superman is Mocha's Hero
and her brother. According to his mom Jasmine, he can do no wrong which is not entirely true (but he tries). In realty he's your average guy that becomes Superman when necessary. In his spare time he death-defying Houdini magic tricks like breaking out of steel crates or leaping 6' fences. He works at the New York times writing articles about injustice in the world, is kind and considerate and always looks out for his little sister. He has a pilot's license and eats pot pies with ketchup and drinks cappuccino. He lives at home right now, but is looking for a new apartment so he can have his girlfriends over without Mom watching him like a hawk. He's kind of egotistical and likes having all the attention, but in a nice way.
Chevy would have been a marathon runner
Mild mannered, sweet and loveable, Chevy was thrown a bad lot in life. He got epilepsy young, went blind and was almost deaf. But even that didn't stop him. Like the special olympics athlete he was, he never gave up and kept running. If he were human we would all benefit from his endless spirit and joy of life. He would have lived at home taken care of and adopted by Aunt Pod, and lived a simple life of cookies and milk and playing in the back yard with Pod watching over him. His real joy would have been running the special olympics and winning a metal for effort.
Riggs would be a Doctor
Early on, Riggs was an obedient military brat, but now an adult he found his calling in Medicine thanks to guidance from Grandpa Homer. After rigorous training watching Medical shows on TV, he is now an MD and watches out for all the geriatric dogs. He still drives a Hummer, but moved to a nice colonial and works long hours volunteering at the nursing home. He always gives you his opinion medical or otherwise, whether you want to hear it or not. In his spare time he's taken up Alpine Yodeling after watching a TV show about the Swiss Alps.
Pod would be a librarian
Shy, self-conscious and dateless, she would stay home allot and read Romance Novels longing to see the world. She licks her lips when she's nervous and has a slight stutter. She would drive a station wagon, live in a dusty but neat old victorian house and watch the National Geographic channel on cable. She adopted and took care of her mentally challenged nephew Chevy until he died, and has now the favorite aunt of Mocha and Superman.
Shadow would've been a Mafia Godfather
But in his spare time played street hockey and rode a Harley Davidson. He would have lived in a gothic mansion, wore black leathers in which hung in the closet and had a tattoo that said STEPHANIE. He drank milk and liked to dine alone at fine Italian restaurants. In later years he repented his criminal ways and had several UPS delivery guys for friends.
Star would've been a blonde cheerleader
She'd drive a red Porsche, live in a sorority house, go shopping all the time to buy preppie clothes with her many overdrawn credit cards, and would frequent McDonalds and drink Perrier. Heaven help you if you make her mad or wanted to get into her exclusive clique - how dare you be so presumptuous! She ran a tight ship and made sure everyone knew SHE was the boss of the household. Once her child left home, they were never welcome back, but the ones that stayed to do her bidding were groomed for greatness.
Hoover would've been:
a good looking blonde beach bum surfer boy driving a yellow Mustang convertible. He'd live in a beach house, wear a swimsuit and whistle and flirt with all the girls, while drinking Sprite and eating cheeseburgers. In his later years he stole groceries out of the pantry and considered a new career as a chef, but it didn't pan out. In his last year he was wheelchair bound and winked at all the nurses.
As a teenager Holly would have been a pony-tailed student tennis player
on a scholarship, driving a leopard-print jeep. But once she became a Mom, she found it was her life's calling. She still wore skinny shirts and short shorts, drank Snapple and ate bunny flavored lean cuisines, but got rid of the jeep for a minivan so she could take the kids to soccer practice. In her old age she's still the swinging-est Grandma ever - all the grand kids love her - visiting often for dinner (Bunny is on the menu).
Gracie would be a 50's carhop...
drive a hot pink car with fins, live in an art deco house in the suburbs, eat popcorn at the Drive In with her boyfriend on Saturday night and drink Fizzies. She's very friendly to the customers so she gets great tips.
Homer would've been a retired policeman
who liked to watch wrestling on TV with a beer, drive a pickup truck, live in a brick ranch house, wear a uniform, and have breakfast at the local donut shop. He was everyone's favorite Grandpa, and was particularly close to Riggs - inspiring him to have strong goals and become a doctor to the elderly.
Nova would've been a Corporate CEO
that drives a leased luxury sedan, dabbled in art, live in a Boston apartment and prefers jeans and a t-shirt. She'd drink Coke and get a pizza takeout from the deli, delivered to her room.
Penny would've been a teacher and film critic
drive a mini-van, live in a condominium near a lake, wear a sensible business suit, drink coffee and snack on leftover casseroles in the fridge. She would make you do your homework, but had a soft spot for the really young kids in her classes. In her spare time she critiqued movies and took long luxurious naps.
Who would your pet be?
Music: Does your Mother know? (Abba)