In Spring 1998 this appeared
in the Malamute Quarterly.
We had lots of fun with this one!
Of course, it's all in jest...and prices have gone up a little since then!
The High Cost of Malamute Ownership*
(first year - all prices approximate for the Midwestern US originally 1998 - and updated to 2017)
by Cindy O'Malley
| ONE MALAMUTE | 1998 | 2017 |
| One Malamute quality dog or bitch from a reputable breeder | 600 | 2,000 |
| Doggy photo albumn, extra film (digital now...requires cheap camera but computer to look at & store pictures) | 35 | 2,000 |
| AKC registration and certified pedigree (for bragging) | 33 | 150 |
| Puppy vaccinations/rabies first year | 250 | 450 |
| Neuter/spay surgery to avoid OOPS! with neighbor's Rottie | 75 | 600 |
| Heartworm test and preventative (prevent now or hospitalize later - $500) | 65 | 300 |
| Fecal checks twice yearly | 20 | 40 |
| Fencing for the yard (small kennel to larger yard) | 2,000 | 7,000 |
| Reinforcement for fencing for yard (chickenwire, stakes, extensions) | 50 | 300 |
| Puppy kindergarten and obedience classes | 125 | 450 |
| Subscription to The Malamute Quarterly | 44 | 90 |
| Large den-like airline crate | 140 | 240 |
| Designer down-filled doggie bed for crate | 45 | 175 |
| Cheaper replacement doggie bed for crate when chewed up | 25 | 50 |
| Replace with old towel or rug when chewed again | 2 | 7 |
| Toys (truckload ofNylabones, Booda bones, kongs, balls, squeekies and stuffed animals to "kill" and gut) | 75 | 750 |
| Vet bill for surgery to remove balls, squeekies and stuffed animal parts | 500 | 1,900 |
| Training treats to motivate, "Mister, you want ME? to come??" | 50 | 300 |
| BitterApple, rawhides, chew hooves, pig ears (to save $5,000 on furniture and woodwork) | 60 | 200 |
| Repair chair, leg anyway | 15 | 120 |
| Doggy door (in out, in out, in out) | 45 | 275 |
| Baby gates (good until junior learns to jump) | 35 | 225 |
| Leash, collar, dishes, grooming brushes, nail clippers, pooper scooper | 80 | 250 |
| Coat grooming (home versus professional) | 0-500 | 0-1,500 |
| Dog license - save $3 if neutered | 10 | 25 |
| If you let him roam, include $$$ for livestock replacement, fines, angry neighbors and pound fees | 250 | 600 |
| Lawyer's consultation fee | 75 | 350 |
| Bath supplies - dog shampoo, Skunk-Off, dog towels | 15 | 200 |
| New high velocity dryer and elevated tub | 225 | 1,500 |
| Phone calls to breeder about "that Damn Dog" (no long distance anymore) | 156 | 0 |
| Miscellaneous emergency vet care (dog fights, broken teeth) | 240 | 2,500 |
| Emergency vet care for neighbor's Shih Tzu that challenged your Mal | 275 | 2,500 |
| Ask for a frequent visitor discount from vet | (-25) | hahaha |
| Cataract surgery, hip replacement, sweater to cover his coat funk if necessary | 5,000 | 10,000 |
| Food (if you buy cheap food, get a bigger pooper scooper) | 750 | 1,200 |
| Dog house and bedding (he's become so annoying in the house) | 100 | 950 |
| Boarding kennel for vacations | IO/day | I5/day |
| Missing pies, roasts, brownies, chicken off countertop (The most vigilant among us has been outsmarted by a Malamute) | 235 | 735 |
| Child-proof locks for cupboards and refrigerator | 5 | 20 |
| Replace chewed pants with the doggie treats left in the pocket | 60 | 120 |
| Harnesses, sled, all-terrain vehicle to pull (couch potato or future Iditarod lead dog?) | 0-2,500 | 0-8,000 |
| Flea sprays/powders/collars, tick spray, Program for fleas | 60 | 200 |
| Commercial vacumn cleaner and bags | 600 | 950 |
| Bottle of Anti-shed (before you figure out it doesn't work that great) | 7 | 25 |
| Gallons of Windex (for noseprints on glass) | 50 | 200 |
| Carpet cleaning (muddy paws on the new white Berber Stainmaster) | 650 | 1,200 |
| Give up and put down hardwood floor | 2,000 | 10,000 |
| Replace holes in lawn, dug up flowers, defoliated trees | 195 | 800 |
| Loss of entire summer's garden vegetables | 50 | 300 |
| Replace Barbie heads, X-rnen toys, rare discontinued Beanie Babies, etc, | 125 | 300 |
| Psychological counseling (owner) for unknown animal body part deposited on your lap as a present | 75/hr | 200/hr |
| Assorted Malamute refrigerator magnets, knickknacks, collectibles | 275 | 600 |
| SECOND MALAMUTE ... show quality this time ... | 1,200 | 15,000 |
| Large van or sport utility vehicle that can transport TWO big dogs | 30,000 | 70,000 |
*Disclaimer: For those drollery-impaired, this is humor.